Monday, 20 September 2010

Holiday Memoirs, September, 2010

Dog on the dole subjected to psychological cruelty in West Yorkshire

Frustration in Suffolk. The driver of this `Supermini` left it thus, after 10 attempts to park it close to the kerb. Immediately afterwards, a bloke got in the car behind it and drove off. I thought it was all part of a cruel hoax. Why is there never a double decker bus, to emphasise a point, when you need one?

On this ridge, on the Suffolk coast, there  once stood a hamlet, now washed away into the North Sea. The last house washed away in the 1920's. All that stands there now are people  taking photographs of the village that isn't there any more and a Martello Tower, built to repel a French Invasion that never came, thanks to our dear Lord Nelson and a bloke who had boots named after him (Not Dr Marten)

View from the table in a restaurant..... which is a Norfolk.......oh to live in a country that embraces diversity

This is an Estate Agent's office in a town in Suffolk. I knew the housing market was slow, but this really did make me realise the seriousness of the current economic state of the bloody country.

Now here, the parking was straight (if half on the pavement),but the house was a tad off centre. You can't win. However, there is a reasonable excuse; this town was built just before the invention of the spirit level. In those days `spirit levelling` involved the burning of witches. I believe the will to perform this barbarous act is still out there amongst some of our population. Thank goodness it is now illegal, I mean, think of the risk to all those wooden buildings.

I've had a few of these over the years, but thankfully only one nasty one.

Peace on Earth - and the final resting place of a Bentley Boy.


powdergirl said...

I'm totally stuck on the superminivan picture, around here, the superminivan drivers are absolutely off the hook. Christ, have you seen the kind of horse- power they build into some of those things? And the drivers are almost uniformly insane. But what sticks me to that pic is the way everyone on both sides of the street is parked nose to end and end to nose. Do y'all really park like that??? Does that mean you're road laws allow you to cross center lines and just pull into a spot that leaves you facing the wrong way? I'm truly dazzled at the thought. Tell me I'm seeing it wrong, please, I think I'm actually having an anxiety attack just thinking about it.

As to the estate agent, well, at least he/she won' have a lot of grounds- keeping to do, which, today and to me, looks pretty damn good.

Hah, the "Dog on the dole" made me laugh, thanks!

Hogday said...

Hi PG. Yes, parking really is like that. In fact I've added another pic to show you one facing the correct way, sort of. The only law, as far as I'm aware of, regarding parking against the flow, is at night, where the law requires cars to display parking lights if so parked - but nobody does and no one is ticketed for it and it would only be cited if an accident was caused. There is obviously a separate offence of parking in ` a dangerous position` or `causing an obstruction`, but that is supposed to be enforced by local authorities rather than the police. Traffic hell - but you should see it in France or Italy!!!!

If you come and visit UK, I'll drive you around for a few days until you work up the nerve, or get a prescription!

Blue Eyes said...

You must have clocked the poorly-parked car on your way out of the White Hart! Excellent choice.

Looks like a nice little trip.

Hogday said...

Blue: You old pub crawler you! Yes, I was sat on the bench sipping on a Broadside - pure nectar, especially at lunchtime......

Blue Eyes said...

I went in there on Christmas Eve one year. The door closed behind me and the entire population of the pub turned towards me in unison and gave me a quizzical look which I inferred as "who is this tourist?"!

Later on that evening, at the Cross Keys, I laboured my "local credentials" when quizzed by the landlord.

I love that place off-season!!

powdergirl said...

Wow, really? I'd need the chauffeur service and the prescription. But I'd be all right in a bit : )

Anonymous said...

Where did Reginald Molehusband go? I suspect to Saudi, where he runs a parking school! Sadly, no photos, though the image of 'tree-parking' says it all - how you get a 4-4 up one is still beyond me.

Hogday said...

Blue: I got the impression it was that sort of place. Fortunately my credentials, if requested, show generations of Hogday's being resident in Wickham Market for nearly 300 years. Not close enough to make me an Aldeburgh local, but pretty close n`est pas?

PG: Deal

ACO: I think I remember an ad. where the advice was `draw up parallel with, but not too close to the front car, stop just past it....etc etc. You can't see my photo's? What a pity. I'm at a loss as to why.

Blue Eyes said...

Wickham Market? Hope you got a visa!

Pielover said...

Was the West Yorkshire butchers - Weegmanns in Otley? If I'm right to I win a balloon?

De Campo said...

I feel the sudden urge to cross the pond for holiday.

Blue Eyes said...

Do it!

Although the fine gentlemen who came over from the States to join our little cycle ride complained that they couldn't understand a word anyone was saying, so be warned!

Hogday said...

What an eye for detail! You win my admiration for your observation skills and this valuable `mention in dispatches`. But do you know the dog's name?

DC: I'll do a tour guide at reasonable rates, I drink beer and cocktails (though not together)and generally try not to piss people off (that is pretty much the entire content of my resume/CV).

Blue: The Americans need things keeping simple - no detail, just soundbites. Wasn't it Stormin` Norman who said that "Going to war without the French is like going deer hunting without your accordion"? That's the sort of one liner that our American chums need.