Saturday, 26 January 2013

"Unarmed man killed by customers in betting shop"

"Go ahead punk, place your bet"
 I'm glad the police armed response vehicle didn't arrive and shoot him. He was carrying a replica handgun and the headlines would read "Police shoot dead unarmed man", the officers would be temporarily relieved from armed duties pending an independent investigation - which is standard procedure, but then the press leaders read "Armed police suspended after unarmed man shot dead"

Interesting juxtaposition when the BBC reporter outside the shop said, "Of course there was no way the customers could have known the `gun` was just a replica". Yes mate, thats correct, and neither could the police, even firearms specialists, if they'd perceived their lives were at risk and chose to shoot him. I suppose the unarmed punters hadn't that option and bravely rushed him (pending confirmation).

The other debate that will be glossed over is the one where if the ARV wasn't the first on scene and it was a normal police patrol, they would not have access to lethal force, in which case they would be in the same boat as the customers, i.e. lucky he hadn't acquired a real one. And even with plucky folks ready to lend a hand, you don't know if they will and they often stand back once the police arrive. 

 Moral? Never come between an Englishman (or several of them) and their £20 each way bet on the 2.30 at Kempton Park.

PS: and note the headline from the above hyperlink, "Gunman" dies, not "unarmed man`. One headline for the public and one for the police? QED?

Friday, 18 January 2013

Norfolk Style

Its only minus 4 today, here in Norfolk, the warmest its been all week. Anglia buses aren't running anywhere today, yet our road is the grippiest its been all week - I think the council have issued bigger spoons to spread the salt about. Everyones watch is 20 years slow in these 'ere parts, but they all seems to loik it that way :) Was out for a walk in the ice yesterday and a local asked me, `Hant you got a hoom to goo to?` I smiled and said, `quarter past eight`.

Cafe Society

Those learners really need to work on their clutch and throttle control, after all its only learners that leave tyre marks all over the place.

Friday, 11 January 2013

Saviled out yet?

Paedophiles are the craftiest, sneakiest, slimiest and most incurably persistent of offenders - `incurably` is my opinion and therefore not empirically sound. Anyone who has worked in this area of law enforcement will not have raised one eyebrow over the revelations contained in the report about Savile, released today. Nothing has changed, in that these people are among us, always were, always will be.

Of the child sex offender cases I knew of, the worst by far committed his most recent offences less than 3 weeks after being released on licence from prison. He was less than half way through a seven year sentence for acts of gross indecency committed against young boys. Local police suspected he was at it again and without any evidence other than his loitering near places frequented by young teens and the photographs they found in his home, which were `suspcious but not illegal` they put him before the courts. Magistrates made an order forbidding him from approaching any youngsters,  closer that 30 feet. Well it must have worked for a while because it was several months before the police managed to make a case against him. Within weeks several more young boys had been enticed and abused and their lives blighted. By the time the victims were identified (they were keeping it to themselves and it was investigative work that found them) it was way too late. He got `life` on that occasion and, as that was about ten years ago, there's a chance he may still be inside, but one day he'll be back home.

`New` sidearm for Britain's armed forces

This has been a long time coming. Why did it go on for so long? *Adolf warned us off the Browning nearly seventy years ago:

Hitlergram No. 136
Who has been giffing mein Afrika Korps zer drag clothes!
It vos me meiner Führer.
You dumb kopf!! You silly Nana, vy zer poofs do ve have in zer army!
Nix poofs, zese are drag artists, zey are training to keep up zer morale of zer boys.
Vot I hear zer boys have all be up zer drag artists, how can mein Afrika Korps make shoot bang fire fight vit zer sore arses.
Zey like it mein Führer.
Like it? Zey must stop it!!! No more zer brown hatting until zer final victory. Give zer order. Stop all zer Browning!
*(Courtesy of Spike Milligan)

First Blood?

I know you cannot get a complete picture from a report in a newspaper but the thought of telephoning a newspaper, or "The News of the World" has baffled me.

And where in the trial do the immortal words appear? I'd like to see how that bit was introduced in the evidence in chief.

And if I was a DCI and saw a couple of my best detectives suddenly seconded to investigate this, I would be very, very cross, but I wouldn't telephone a bloody newspaper to say so.

Thursday, 10 January 2013

Only in the movies

"Go ahead punk, make my day?" - I don't think so.

Extract from Britain's answer to Dirty Harry, `Grimy Gerald`:

"Now look here old chap. I had no real chance to remember if I'd fired twelve or fourteen times because this is a Glock 19 with a New York trigger, so I get stray rounds going off all the time, but anyway old fruit, there's plenty left in the mag, plus they issued me with a spare. Now about this armed robbery, I ought to point out that this being England, where less than 3% of law enforcement are trained to carry firearms, means that you were extremely unlucky that my armed response vehicle was so close, otherwise this would probably not have happened as we're often 20 minutes away - what rotten luck - plus, if I let a few more off in your general direction there'll be one hell of a row. I'll be suspended from armed operations even though I shot you by applying all the approved criteria and gave a warning that I was armed and that I'd be jolly cross if you forced me to warn you again, and that there were absolutely no other options available to me. Of course there will be a team of lawyers working for you free of charge who specialise in police shootings (assuming you survive) and who will come up with all sorts of miraculous and incredulous things that they will try to convince a jury that I should've done before slotting you with a double-tap to the sternum. So I'd rather you didn't make any sudden moves towards that sawn off on the pavement. Of course I'll have to prove that you were holding it and furthermore actually pointing it at me or someone I was sworn to protect and I will have to prove that my perception of the situation was such that I believed it was necessary to do what I just did and you never know, you might get ten years if convicted - oh and a note about the not so small print, it also says that I even have to consider your bloody welfare as well, which is pretty rich - so ask yourself a question, would you rather be in my shoes? Didn't think so. Ah, here comes your ambulance".