Thursday, 10 January 2013
Only in the movies
"Go ahead punk, make my day?" - I don't think so.
Extract from Britain's answer to Dirty Harry, `Grimy Gerald`:
"Now look here old chap. I had no real chance to remember if I'd fired twelve or fourteen times because this is a Glock 19 with a New York trigger, so I get stray rounds going off all the time, but anyway old fruit, there's plenty left in the mag, plus they issued me with a spare. Now about this armed robbery, I ought to point out that this being England, where less than 3% of law enforcement are trained to carry firearms, means that you were extremely unlucky that my armed response vehicle was so close, otherwise this would probably not have happened as we're often 20 minutes away - what rotten luck - plus, if I let a few more off in your general direction there'll be one hell of a row. I'll be suspended from armed operations even though I shot you by applying all the approved criteria and gave a warning that I was armed and that I'd be jolly cross if you forced me to warn you again, and that there were absolutely no other options available to me. Of course there will be a team of lawyers working for you free of charge who specialise in police shootings (assuming you survive) and who will come up with all sorts of miraculous and incredulous things that they will try to convince a jury that I should've done before slotting you with a double-tap to the sternum. So I'd rather you didn't make any sudden moves towards that sawn off on the pavement. Of course I'll have to prove that you were holding it and furthermore actually pointing it at me or someone I was sworn to protect and I will have to prove that my perception of the situation was such that I believed it was necessary to do what I just did and you never know, you might get ten years if convicted - oh and a note about the not so small print, it also says that I even have to consider your bloody welfare as well, which is pretty rich - so ask yourself a question, would you rather be in my shoes? Didn't think so. Ah, here comes your ambulance".