Wednesday, 8 October 2014

Fair wear and tear....

Had a faithful old tooth removed yesterday. It had served me well for almost 50 years. Needed a root canal jobby a few years back but apart from that it was doing great. My Portuguese dentist has told me I have great teeth and healthy gums... with one exception, the aforementioned LR5 (who I shall call "Mo"). Pure bad luck caused an infection to set in, post aforementioned root canal, which in itself was a great piece of work, but hey, sh1t happens and Mo had to be retired.
Plan `A` was to remove Mo and screw a Titanium implant into his place to take a ceramic in a few months but the X ray showed that Mo's foundation was no longer rock, but sand - a bone graft would be needed. But quick thinking dentist coolly announced that next to Mo there was a long-time gap where LR6 once lived and this will be ideal for the implant, so it was `job-on` after all. Can't remember how I lost LR6, but what with the space he'd long ago left behind suddenly coming in so unexpectedly handy, nay perfect for the tactical option (and me being a bit of an aviation enthusiast) I'm re-naming LR6 "A.10"! (I thought about "Spad", but this is the 21st century and after all we are talking Titanium).
So I'm all numbed up and the Op begins. A couple of taps, the insertion of a small explosive charge, a dull crunch and out comes Mo. The infected section of jawbone is cleaned, grafted and we move on to prep area A.10 for the titanium screw. A two, three and four mm drill bit do their thing - well not quite, as the 3mil seizes solid in the healthy, rock-solid bone, the drill suddenly stops and my dentist is flung sideways with the torque reaction.Another hi tech piece of specialist dentistry has to be deployed. I think I heard him call it an `Apertado Pequeno Bastardo`, which judging from the sound and feel of things through the numbness is probably Portuguese for, `Mole Grips` (probably titanium as well, although I swore I could smell WD40).
Space `A10` was completed in record time (about 8 tracks from the `Adele CD` playing in the background - just as well because I think he told me there were `21`).
I aimed some antiseptic fluid in the general direction of my mouth, rinsed out the bone and gore in an action resembling a lawn sprinkler, and then let my dentist give me a facial makeover with a sterile wipe. I sat up and looked at the lovely nurse who had, for the last 90 minutes, been kneeling on my chest forcing my mouth open with steel instruments pressed hard on the bits of my lips and mouth that still had working nerves. Trying to smile I said, "Ice pack please". She then slapped me across the un-anaesthetised part of my face and stormed out. I was bemused. The dentist ran after her and she returned a short while later full of apologies. It was a simple mis-undertanding caused by my anaesthetised tongue, what I said being encrypted by the novocaine and coming out as "Nice rack Miss" *.
I'm feeling a bit better this morning, despite the stitches in my gum, and looking forward to getting the full A.10 by the end of the year. Until then, you can call me `Gappy`, although you can't see it until I laugh real hard.

* Surely I must be joking by now? Of course.


Quartermaster said...

So, you have WD 40 in the mother country? I bet you have duct tape too. I bet that wudda come in handy if the Nurse had some in her kit. Mighta gone rough for you, given her attitude after the encrypted response to her ministrations.

A cuppla years back I had a broken tooth removed. The Oral Surgeon (ex-Air Force and I'm an ex-Air Force brat) thought he could just flip it out. I told him I thought he would have to section it to get it out. Turned out I was right. Because of the mild disagreement on procedures, it was a rather sanguine affair. He apologized afterwards, then asked what I did for a living. I told him I was an Engineer. And he said "I should have listened to you in the first place."

Engineers are pretty nasty folk, from time to time. :-)

Hogdayafternoon said...

QM: Nice one! How's your aches and pains? BTW, I was joking re the slap in the chops ;)

Trobairitz said...

Ha, funny stuff - nice rack, lol

I must say I had to cringe at all the dentistry. Nice descriptions though.

Quartermaster said...

Hog, I'm working on getting fit again. It's not easy after 15 years of decline. I'm 60 now, and things change slowly. I still get sore when I increase the intensity and I allow some space to recover, but I am advancing. I've lost 20 pounds. Still a good way to go before I reach my target of 170, but I'll get there.

Bill Brandt said...

A couple of years ago I am doing a "speed walk" with a friend - you know, keeping in shape and all that, and while joking and laughing my foot catches an uplifted part of a sidewalk section - tree roots and the fact that these days the city can't repair much 0- anyway i am doing what I called my "superman" imitation, a-flyin' though the air, arms outstretched - and hit my jaw on the cement on short final.

Managed to split 2 upper bicuspids. (Larry and Curly?)

You know it is good when the Dentists calls his staff in to look at my teeth - saying he'd never heard of anything like this before.

This keeping healthy by exercising is built up a lot more than it should be.

Anonymous said...

Hog Day:

Glad to hear/read that things are coming along well.

I'm sending good thoughts your way.

Paul L. Quandt