Monday, 16 March 2009
Look Who's Coming.....Spring of course!
It's at times like this I can feel myself getting all phisolosophical and when I get philosolifical I often reach out to that old favourite, The Maharishi Phucknuckel, and his words of wisdom: The darkest hours come just before dawn, so if you're going to steal your neighbours milk/newspaper/primroses, thats the time to do it. Sex is like air. It's only really important when you aren't getting any. Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them you're a mile away and you have their shoes. If you think nobody cares whether you're dead or alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments. and finally, the most deep and meaningful of all his teachings..... Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just fuck off and leave me alone. Already I can feel enlightenment. After the comments demanding more guiding words, especially Brother Grasshopper of the Long Rifle With Many Pee Stops (well. we're of a similar age) I have consulted the Master once again, seeking the truth, the light and the way to the nearest pub. Be ready for the Damascus Moment: Remember, no one is listening, until you fart. If at first you don't succeed, avoid skydiving. (One for Ms Pepper): Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time. (One for the B's in Blue) Don't aspire to be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. Coming soon, wise quotes from Winston (No, not him, the guy who runs the Caribbean Fuit and Vegetable shop in Brixton Market).