Friday, 12 June 2009

Of Mice and Men.... and yobs and dog crap [sorry Mr Steinbeck]

Having just returned from a 45 minute stroll through the countryside with my dog I needed to jot down a few things that got me thinking about a few things that, in turn, got me thinking. When I dog walk I am always equipped with a few bio-degradable plastic bags for those embarrassing moments when he just can't wait to use a proper public convenience. I always ask him why he didn't go before we left, but he just doesn't get it. Even though we walk on a semi rugged path with rough vegetation either side it is, nevertheless, frequented by lots of different people and occasionally their kids, so I feel that unless he manages to park his behind into places that others would clearly fear to tread, I still want to `pick up`. The only trace of our passing I want to leave behind are out foot/paw prints - and the occasional pee in the bushes. This morning I met a lovely English Springer Spaniel with an outwardly nice lady owner. Spaniel dumped right in the middle of the path and lady owner carried on by. I called over to her and offered her a plastic bag. She seemed bemused and her face changed from pretty/moderately happy-serene to `mouth like a cats arsehole` in a blink. I offered her a bag and she muttered something about not bothering on a country walk. I politely said that the path is frequented by me, as well as smaller kids, and that I didn't like stepping into a Richard* slap bang in the middle of the path. She huffed a bit, but then I gave in and showed her how it was done, retaining a clean, pong free hand in the process. I knotted the bag and offered it to her. More of the cats arse expression. This time I became a little serious, placed the bag in another clean bag, tied it off and handed it to her, telling her that there was a bin near where she would have entered the lane. On my return, I found the bag casually tossed into the grass so I picked it up and binned it myself, but hopefully she won't walk her dog there anymore. So this got me thinking about the state of play in UK Ltd. and a story Ray, an acquaintence of mine, told me a while ago. He lives in a part of town where there is quite a high rate of juvenile nuisance, which means anything from graffiti, noisy hoodie gatherings with lots of obscene language and empty lager cans being dumped in the street, to bag snatches and the occasional robbery at knifepoint. I won't bore you with the usual story that goes with this, suffice to say they continue blighting the area with impunity, because they don't fear an ASBO (I mean, f.f.s. what is there to fear?), they don't fear their parents (if they ever see them) and lowest on their list of `things to fear` is police or court. Ray's wife was six months pregnant. One autumn day she walked to the local shop,just under a mile from their home, pushing their 3 yr old in his push chair. On leaving the shop she was surrounded by the gang of six regulars all in their teens. She was verbally abused, her personal space was invaded and her pregnant bump was groped i.e. she was assaulted. The shopkeeper saw it, helped her and reported it to the police by telephone, but by the time an officer responded 4 days later, she declined to report the matter. The reason was that Ray had come home on leave. Ray is a Royal Marines Commando, 5` 6" tall, built like a wiry athlete and is someone I would describe as a one man armoured fighting machine. He is not well known `on the street` because he keeps a low profile plus he is rarely there because his membership of that elite miltary unit keeps him very busy on behalf of HM Government. Ray was told the story of the incident, the persons responsible were identified to him and he planned his solution. Every evening he would go out for a run as he always did when home on leave. On the second evening his quarry were there. The groper was sat on a low wall with his mates who were doubtless bathing in his personality as they smoked their fags and drank their beers. It was just past dusk when Ray jogged along towards them, only this time he pulled down the woolen cap comforter/face mask down over his face and as he came within range, he landed a neat right hook to gropers pasty chin. Groper was knocked clean over the wall, taking one of his admirers with him, as Ray casually continued on his workout run. Ray represented the Royal Marines at boxing. He told me that as he disappeared he saw groper being carried off by his mates and a few days later, he saw him looking very bruised and very groggy. A few weeks later, with Ray back on base the shopkeeper told Ray's wife about the incident with the mystery jogger and how the precinct had never been so quiet since it happened. Ray told me how he hated doing what he did and asked me what his actions actually represented in law, although he knew he'd broken it. I explained that he had committed an assault occasioning actual bodily harm, possibly grievious especially as Ray believed it was a perfect right hook and he'd broken the gropers jaw and a few of his rotten teeth. In the eyes of the law, he would have been arrested and charged and could have been imprisoned, certainly fined, and would have a criminal record. And what of the groper and his gang? Well along with their countless, cautions, ASBO's and community service, they also get community police schemes where, under the supervision of a local beat police officer, they get to play basketball and get taken to watch premiere football matches to keep them off the streets once a week. But Ray's wife still visits that shop and the shopkeeper says he's had no trouble since the `mysterious man in black` flattened the groper and frightened the shit out of him and his pasty obnoxious mates. The trouble is, if we all started to think and behave like Ray, would this be the beginning of the rise of the BNP ? I mean, surely no right(no pun) minded electorate would give them a mandate in either the UK or Europe, would it? No, lets just trust in our lawmakers and those that are charged with upholding what seems to be increasingly unenforceable justice, law and order. *Richard, as in `Richard the Third` - Cockney rhyming slang??? Work it out for yourself my American/Canadian chums! - thats why I always had a chuckle whenever I heard Little Richard, 'cos I bet he could be a `right one` at times.


Blue Eyes said...

An excellent example of why the law should be enforced properly. As soon as anyone actually challenges the behaviour of the odious shits* they soon pipe down. If they were given an old-fashioned clip round the ear and a good talking to when they were younger, they wouldn't be groping women when they were older.

We don't need vigilantism, we need some proper court action.

*not being a Cockney, I don't know what rhymes.

Hogday said...

Shit = `Tom-Tit`. You really are a plonker Rodders ;)

Blue Eyes said...

I didn't know East Enders had "odious" in their vocaboolerry.

Hogday said...

I'm a cheat. I was born in Ilford!

Vetnurse said...

As we can not have what's ideal, I am glad he did land a smack and did not get into trouble.

On the other score of pooper-scooping l was walking through the main shopping gallery's and some idiot was pulling his dog. it was obvious he wanted the loo so in the end went walking while the cretinous owner knew what had happened ignored it.

I ran after the owner shouting "oy oy" he stopped and looked at me and l made him look a total plonker by lecturing him in front of the shoppers who were about.

He went back while l watched and scooped the mess up leaving one bit... l missed that as it was further back.

Then he slunk out of the complex.

By the way if you get the cheapie nappy bags they are about 29p/100bags at tescos etc lots cheaper than the "real" bags.

Conan the Librarian™ said...

In my job "see name", I have to take pestering by teen lowlives as part of the job description.
There was a particularly repugnant wee gobshite who after me throwing him out for the umpteenth time, threatened to kill my dogs.
After the veins in my head stopped throbbing, I asked the other kids in the library his name and bingo-I knew his grandfather!
One phonecall later the grandfather,(a builder who looks like an alpha silverback)
came in with the purple-faced miscreant dangling by the collar, and made him apologise.

Anonymous said...

I think dealing with dog turds would be far preferable to dealing with the 2 legged turds your friend had to clean up after.

Constable said...

Probably totally against human rights and all that but have made a "gent" pick up his dog's mess with his hands outside a school about 10 mins before afternoon escape time. He didn't have a bag and did it blatantly walking away fron his dod whilst the deed was done. Despite me being in an f'ing great police car he carried on walking. What could I do? My oldest has stepped in the crap and I always clear up after my two so why shouldn't he? Could have given him a drugs bag but bare hands seemed more appropriate considering.


Hogday said...

VN: I like a person who doesn't stand for any old crap.

Conan: I think referring to him by that great expression, `gobshite`, was a wee bit generous of you considering his very unpleasant threats! Nothing like that life-lesson, `being caught` and the retributions that follow.

KyLR: It must be really hard work being obnoxious, so why do they do it?

CC.C: What is it with these people? If we were all on a bloody lifeboat their sort would end up being requested to get out and swim. I like to think of Planet Earth as our lifeboat....QED?

Stressed Out Cop said...

Shame the beat officer can't deliver appropriate "advice" as per the RM .. not the full treatment just a squeeze to let yobbo know who rules the street.

powdergirl said...

I really like this Ray person. But not everyone has a Ray, so it just doesn't work out as an alternate justice system. But 4 days for a response from police? Crap.

The dog mess problem is apparenetly universal, sigh.

Hogday said...

The police have this crappy prioritising system (aka bullshit politic-speak-excuse for no resources). Unless the caller is deemed to be in imminent risk then you won't get an immediate response. This system is somewhat alien to me as `yobs harrassing lone female with child` would be a priority. I expect the caller said they had just gone, thus triggering the `non immediate response`. Piss poor I say. I'd be ashamed to belong to an organisation that did that to a call of that nature, as even if the yobs had gone I'd want to reassure the victim with a police attendance. No doubt the indecent assault was no relayed by the caller - definitely less than a 4 frigging days response - shame on them.

SOC: 100%. I was a great believer in the appropriate and proportionate application of discomfort. Did more good than harm on my beat. Alack and alas.