Up the In-Junction

""So Mr X, in  my expert legal opinion, the sort of injunction you require is based on the exact circumstances of the damning information you wish to suppress.

Let me keep it simple. If neither of you were actually `gagging for it`, but you both eventually persuaded each other that you were up for it, and this was with mutual consent, then this would require a basic application known in the trade as a ` basic non-gagging gagger`. I assume there was consent?  To be otherwise from the lady's perspective would put you into a whole different ball game and I'd have to refer you to one of our partners specialising in criminal cases.

If she was gagging for it (it is a `she` isn't it? Oh, pity that. Never mind) and you initially weren't, but were persuaded to participate either through persistence or the use of the old beer goggle persuader, this would require a Grade 2 Injunction, known to us in the business as the `half-gagging, mister arm-twister, gagger` .

From here on in it does become a little more technical. If she was gagging for it and you didn't care either way, but you took a chance that you'd probably get away without your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other finding out and by then were too drunk/horny to care, then we could probably go for the `gagging for it shit-or-buster`.

But from what you have told me, we have a serious case of her gagging for it, you gagging for it, you not worrying if you'd get caught or having been promised by the other party that she would remain schtum but then her reneging on the deal or as it's sometimes called, `doing a Red Top` (did you get this deal in writing? No? oh dear) well in that case we`ll  have to go straight to what we call the "Hello Max, Cliff-hanger". Oh she's already talking in public? R i g h t. Well then it really is the biggy for you and in this case it will have be what is now known as the `Mega gagging double-shagger-gagger`", but by the time we get the paperwork together you'll probably be reading about it in The Stun"".