Tuesday 11 December 2012

T'is the season.....

Headed south at the weekend and took my four and a half  yr old grandson to "Santa's Grotto" on Saturday, which on this occasion was located in a classroom in his school.

We'd just got to the front of the queue, next to the beautifully crafted `North Pole` setting (and some elves) when the lad lost his bottle and backed out in front of `L'homme en rouge`.
I always used to pride myself on my quick thinking and sound decision making under stress and so I did what any good grandad would do, I told him that it wasn’t really santa, just some bloke dressed up in red, wearing a false beard and wellies and that I pulled the self same stunt nearly 30 years ago at a similar event and managed to con his uncle (my son) and 30 other kids into thinking I was Father Christmas. That did the trick and on our second approach we nailed it, got the picture and the present.
Ok, ok, so I bubbled Santa, but I was getting desperate and the lad has to learn sometime.

12 comments:

Quartermaster said...

But not at 4 years old, Hog! The poor kid has had delusions smashed at such a tender age. You should have waited until at least 5 years old. By that time they're starting to get jaded.

Feel guilty yet? :-P

ColoComment said...

...and now he's going to tell all this little friends, who will tell their parents, who will come after you with cudgels and pitchforks for ruining the greatest parental bribe factor of all time ("...if you keep crying, Santa won't bring you that fire engine you asked him for...."), for the children will blow them raspberries for the saying of it.

Hogdayafternoon said...

Hey, I never said there wasn't a REAL Father Christmas...and anyway I live 200 miles away.

Blue Eyes said...

I think you did the right thing and no long term harm is done.

I still rue the day when my brothers and I announced that we were too grown up to believe in Father Christmas. Excellent, said my parents, we don't need to get the present stockings out this year and make the awkward early-hours secret trip to your rooms. Bugger!

Tad said...

I knew Santa was my dad at a very early age. Put two and two together when, very late Xmas Eve, I was awoken by 'Santa' after he trod on a strategically placed drawing pin. He used exactly the same swear words as my dad...

Anyway, it won't happen this year. According to an overwhelming number of people (not scientists) its The Apocalypse on 21 Dec. No point buying presents or paying the heating bill.

Hogdayafternoon said...

Blue/Tadanori: Thanks chaps! I feel reassured, vindicated and Christmassy ;-)

Hogdayafternoon said...

Ps @ tad: A santatrap! Hilarious!

Trobairitz said...

Such a good grandpa. You managed to get him there for a picture. Good job.

I used to hate my picture with santa. I am sure I am crying in more than one of them until I learned it was just some dude in a suit. Of course then it was more of a case of "really we have to get our picture taken with him again this year". Sigh.

Bill said...

I wonder how many Santas have been peed in their lap by excited children...

Then too I had a laugh at a Santa cartoon the other day - but then I have a slightly warped sense of humor.

Mrs Claus on Christmas Eve: "Aren't you going out this evening?"

Santa: No - I was thinking - going out late at night - going down chimneys to give toys to children late at night - might be misunderstood these days - I think I'll just stay home this year"

Hogdayafternoon said...

@Bill: My favourite was the Jewish/Scottish/Yorkshireman Santa; descends chimney and wakes the youngsters with a jolly "Wakey wakey my dears, wanna buy some toys"? (works with all relevant stereotypes)

SCOTTtheBADGER said...

Many years ago, the Sgt of our department, said since I am short and built like a bear ready for winter, I was going to be Sants for the local community Christmas Program.

having successfully carried off the mission, I was back in the locker room of community center where the affair had taken place. I had just removed the beard, when i young kidlet ran in, to tell me of something he forgot to ask for.

Fortunately, I think fast on my feed, and like the Grinch, I thought up a lie, and I thought it up quick. I told the little fellow that I was indeed, not Santa, at least not yet. I told him I was santa's son, Scott Claus, and that this was Dad's busy time of year, and he asked me if I would help out, and take his place, as he was most interested in what the kids here in town wnted, as he wanted to make sure to provide them with those things, as the kids had been pretty deent that year. Fortunately, he accepted that story, and I took the info down, and we both went on our way.

Here in the Upper Midwest, the Canadian Pacific Railway runs a Holiday Train through both Canada, and the Border States, where a decorated train stops in each town, a boxcar converted into a stage opens up, the CP gives a check to the local food bank, and a free one hour concert is put on.
http://www.cpr.ca/en/in-your-community/holiday-train/Pages/default.aspx

It really is a glorious show, and well worth standing in the cold for. I lived on the old Milwaukee Road main line, here in Wisconsin, and the CP bought the Milwaukee Road, so we see the train every December.

A Santa gets of off the train, and wanders through the crowd, talking to the kids, and handing out train whistles, and candy canes. Santa is played by a CPR Police Officer. One year, as he was getting back on the train, his Santa Coat opened, up, revealing his CPRPD uniform underneath. So Santa packs a Hi Power when in Canada, and having been a Santa myself, I can inform you that he carries an HK USP45F here in the States. What does he carry in the UK? A pointed stick perhaps?

I spent the day baking Christmas cookies, and have gone down to the library to stay away from the cookies as they cool, and will spend the evening frosting them.

When I bought a box of Christmas cookie cutters at the Saint Vincent DePaul thrift store last week, I found that there were cookie cutters from Halloween mixed in with the Christmas ones, so I have to figure out what color frosting to put on the Christmas Bats. Wish I could send you some Christmas Bats, they should look quite festive, with green frosting on the bodies, and red on the wings!

Hogdayafternoon said...

Brilliant Scott (Delay in response due to a Googlismic failure somewhere)