Here in the land of sheep, moors and rolling dales there has been, for this quiet patch, a big leap in crime judging by the latest bulletin sent to me by the neighbourhood watch co-ordinator.
The same type of metal theft, artifice crime and cowboy roofing and tarmac`ing always seems to happen when a local patch of lovely land is turned into a site of hazardous waste, coinciding with the arrival of white transit vans, caravans and assorted horses. The land, once vacated, has a council refuse cart sized pile of rubbish and human detritus scattered about it, that the local council come and scoop up. The big spike in the crime figures suddenly drops back to zero/normal after said vans, horses etc vanish. This spike and plummet happens every year this happens to this patch of land, yet the police don't seem to be able to make any connection.
I think there must be something wrong with their crime pattern analysis computer, or perhaps the analyst (if they still employ one) is just not reading it right? Perhaps the locals have an idea who might be responsible?