Monday, 5 September 2011

In a think-tank... in a galaxy... far, far away.....

"Hey guys, I've got one. Why don't we make it so the cops all have to go to and from work in their uniforms?!!"

"That's great Hugo, God knows why no one has thought of this before. I mean, like, with all the too`ing and frow`ing from their homes to work and back again, there'll be like thousands of extra uniforms on buses, tube trains, pedal cycles, cars and stuff and the proles will see all these extra police uniforms about and be like totally fooled and SO-not-scared any more!

Yah, and, like, all the bad shit about the police staff cuts and stuff will look like it's so not happening - it'll be, like, a bullshitfest! Awesome!"

"And when the cops are going home after a 12 hour shift with no radio, no protective equipment, no defensive weapons and no anti stab protective vests and see bad shit going down, they can get off their bike or out of their car and just wade in and, bingo, it all stops! Have to decide whether they'll get paid overtime for going back on duty though - no, wait, they're never off duty ha ha ha ha ha. And the great thing is that this can happen before they even get to work as well, its just brill!"

"And if they have to arrest someone they can put them in their car and drive them to the nearest police station or just use their mobile and diall 999 and won't have to wait too long for another cop to arrive with a radio, baton, CS gas, cuffs and stuff oh yeah and a stab resistant vest thing - this is, like sooo cool. And if a mob decides to smash up their car whilst they're dealing with the bad guys, they can get a ride back to work in the cop car - it's too simple."

"Hey Giles, how about we also make it so they have to live in one of those....what are they called? oh yeah, estates, yeah, housing estates - not the sort of estate that you live on Hugo (laughs). No, these estates don't have long drives, a paddock, cctv monitors and remote controlled gates, these have things called terraced and semi-detached houses, 7 till 11 shops and drop in centres and things - other people live there.
 Then, when all the bad guys know that we've put a copper and his wife and kids next to their crack house, they'll think twice before getting up to no good - it will make a huge difference to crime prevention - wow this is getting better by the minute." Anyone else got any ideas? Tamsin, your hand's up"

"Well, guys (still, small voice of reason), just a thought, when we move the cops and their families onto these problem `estates` to warn off the bad guys and make them, like, behave, what happens if they become the targets for vandalism, have their cars damaged, kids threatened, pets poisoned and have dog crap and fish and chip wrappers and stuff put over their garden fences or through their letter boxes and generally have their lives made hellish.......just saying."

"Well that's easy, we won't have to send a copper round to report it, will we. Save us a fortune. Nice one Tamsin"

15 comments:

TonyF said...

Brilliant Idea! Why not get them to stick a broom up their arses and sweep the roads too..

Just a thought.

We could post our service men to other countries as a preventative measure. Scrap Harrier, have an a/c carrier but no a/c...


Ah.

bugger

JuliaM said...

If it's really too dangerous for policemen to go to work in their uniforms in some areas of the country, then by God, we have a far, far bigger perception issue than 'there's not enough police on the streets', haven't we?

Hogdayafternoon said...

JuliaM: It really is a question of judgment and location. When I lived in the town I policed I would walk to work with a jacket over my uniform. In central London? no way, except when I was in a section house a mile from the station.

That said, I was always ready to act appropriately if I came across some incident, but I can tell you from bitter, personal experience, that producing your warrant card when off duty or in plain clothes is fraught with danger and has to be done with extreme care.

The last para of my post was true. In a Home Counties force they really did acquire police houses (now extinct) in sink areas and post a poor plod and his family amongst families from hell. Utter folly and a case for mental cruelty if ever I heard one. I don't think its a question of danger, more of a need to preserve and protect the officer from the awful ramifications of being in a very vulnerable position, without the usual safeguards. I honestly don't think that the Elfen safety case alone, would make it fly.

TonyF: Don't make me come over there and sing "Jerusalem" to you.

Newcastle Geordie said...

Joined in the early 70's - lived in a police house (not in the area I worked) and went to and from work in uniform without any problems. Would I do it now ? Absolutely no way !!

Hogdayafternoon said...

Nwcastle Geordie: Right on!

Suz said...

The whole post makes my skin crawl right up my back, for so many reasons. Ugh!

Blue Eyes said...

Utterly stupid.

The crying shame is that the report also has some other interesting stuff in it, but because of the authors' cynical attempt to get some headlines everyone is talking about the stupidest proposal ever.

Blue Eyes said...

If police are forced to identify themselves on their way to and from work, can't we require prolific offenders to do the same?

The Romans had a great system: if you were convicted you had the word for convict branded on your forehead. It was then up to shopkeepers, etc. whether to let you in or not.

Hogdayafternoon said...

Suz: Yuk, indeed

Blue: Agree! Perhaps city bankers should have their trade emblazoned on their suits (or do they already?)or bumper stickers, maybe? Eg Arab shoplifter - no hand signals???

Anonymous said...

Great idea if they show true leadership and do it them selves.

Good post HDA

TonyF said...

"And did those feet in ancient times, say 'oh fuck it I'm out of here'?"


Why is it that 'travellers' that don't, er, travel, are called travellers? When really they should be called 'squatting thieving scum'.

And why does their 'rights' trump everyone else's?

Just think how many Harriers we could have, if we weren't paying for scum to have lawyers that we could not afford?

SCOTTtheBADGER said...

While I wear my uniform to and from work, I also don't live where the customers do. fewer slashed tires that way. Of course, the duty belt of an American Badger is dufferent that that of a Britsh Badger.

Hogdayafternoon said...

Scott: True. I spent 6 weeks in Michigan many moons ago, some of which was with local PD (Flint). Same sense of humour but subtle differences in style (a .357 mag or 9mm being two of them).

allcoppedout said...

I used to do this, but had to give up owing to being late for work and late home. We had to leave our radios at the office and it was before cell phones. I did it to help weight problems away from rugby training - otherwise I'd have resented the hour each way of unpaid OT!
Such jerk off schemes are a result of chronic economics - the scumbags being a small part. We need a sensible global policy on the richer thieves, including ACPO. One could throw in the fact that mobiles could be brought in as the 'eyes and ears' against crime ...

jack said...

I think they look good and feel good.These are certainly the solution to the problem.They fit great,move very well,great reinforcement,and are fantastically made.
chiefsupply.com/search/police%20uniform.aspx